nick fury: hey i just met ya'll

nick fury: and this is crazy

nick fury: but i need y'all egocentric motherfuckers to stop whatever you're doing to join my super secret boy band and avenge the earth because thor's brother is attention-whoring from space.

nick fury: so call me maybe

If you put root beer in a square glass do you get beer?

solkiasstupidpage:

korrasponding:

lampsarepeopletoo:

audiodude:

IM LAUGHING SO HARD HOLY FUCK

OH MY GOD.

MINDFUCK.

LOL MATH JOKES NEVER GET OLD.

lmao, Jesus…

starkassembled:

zeldea:

why cant america just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit

Because Fahrenheit starts with an F for FREEDOM, not a C for COMMUNISM

Who's your favorite Avenger?

Loki

But he's not an Av-

LOKI

So this is a fairly average scenario for me

Casual fan: I just saw The Avengers again! Who's your favorite character?

Me: Loki.

Casual fan: Wait a sec, you're telling me your favorite character is the villain?

Me: Loki, yes.

Casual fan: All right, who's your favorite *avenger*?

Me: Future redeemed Loki.

Casual fan: *narrows eyes* Who's your favorite FEMALE avenger?

Me: Princess Loki.